Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

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Jerry Seinfeld

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JERRY SEINFELD QUOTES

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." - Jerry Seinfeld

"I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything." - Jerry Seinfeld

"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive." - Jerry Seinfeld

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper." - Jerry Seinfeld

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash." - Jerry Seinfeld

"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun." - Jerry Seinfeld

"The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!" - Jerry Seinfeld

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."" - Jerry Seinfeld

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end." - Jerry Seinfeld

"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."" - Jerry Seinfeld

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