"Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint." - Billy Connolly
"I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do." - Billy Connolly
"I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered." - Billy Connolly
"I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days." - Billy Connolly
"I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place." - Billy Connolly
"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little." - Billy Connolly
"I'm very big in Australia, New Zealand, Britain, Canada and America. It's nice. I have a lovely life, and actually it pays better than the movies. Well, it doesn't pay better than Tom Cruise in the movies. But it pays better than I get. I get bus fare compared to these guys." - Billy Connolly
"It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things." - Billy Connolly
"Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit." - Billy Connolly
"The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards." - Billy Connolly
"The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know." - Billy Connolly
